Take command,
Take his hand.
Give him peace
And release him
From this cold oubliette.
Please don’t let them forget
Who he is:
Serpent’s kiss.
He’s a snake nailed to a cross
By peasant farmers,
But he’s only their demon du jour.
I know you.
Palace of hypocrites,
Status-clad and thoughtless.
This is where father sits;
Pour another port glass.
Detonate honesty.
Truth is suicide in
Middlebrow middle earth.
Why are you all hiding?
I know you.
You herald truth, you do.
You must be wiped out good.
Thought police will tame your blood.
We hump our parish pumps.
Rednecks will brand your rump.
Our scythes are cold and blunt
Unlike our public front.
Joan of Arc,
In the park
Got attacked
By a pack of
Noble youths
Whose rejection of truth was absolute.
She got raped,
They escaped.
She tastes cider whenever
She wakes from a nightmare
In her mouth which can only sing truth.
I know you.
Ducking ponds, Wishing chairs:
Such a rigid science.
Could make one quite despair:
Turn to sexual violence.
What a dead hinterland,
Desert of the doldrums.
Nothing in a grain of sand:
The universe behold them.
I know you…truth etc.
Satire’s cheap
And a leap
From the horror
Of the daily grind,
Stops the shit
From fermenting your mind.
The prophet sings
‘Slay the kings’
And he rallies forth
With a trident and a toothpick
To extract all the shit
From the gob of the world.
I know you.
I KNOW you.
I know YOU…
Send me on holiday.
Give me tranquilisers.
Pacify, wash away.
Lower the truth visor.
Hold on a minute, Nick.
Where’s the humility?
You’re a conceited prick.
I hope this ain’t about me?
No, I love you.
That’s why I talk to you.
That’s why I phone you late.
That’s why we’ll emigrate.
Get me away from here.
I want you always near,
So I don’t go insane,
Kamikaze a plane.
You give me sacred peace
And a sense of release.
I’m one atomic son.
I get angry for fun.
Chaos bewitched the earth
The day that my mum gave birth.
Friday, 1 June 2007
Pier Song
Waste of time, a waste of space.
You have failed the human race.
You’re a waste of space-time it appears.
When all is said and done
You were never much fun.
May be that’s why you jumped off the pier.
You were festering inside.
Where you walked the grass has died,
And my appetite walks at your name.
On that cold New Year’s Eve
When you got your reprieve
And you bid us adieu dressed in flames.
I don’t believe it.
Denial makes me slaughter your memory.
I don’t believe it.
I don’t see why.
I don’t see why
You had to die.
You were noble, shrewd and proud
With a spirit brash and loud
And my parents were scared when they met you.
But in private your calm
Mannered ways had me charmed
And I’m trying my best to forget you.
Seven months and seven years
To accumulate these tears
And where are they when it’s time to cash in?
I see sparks when I blink
And I try not to think
About death when I hear the waves crashing.
I don’t believe it.
Denial makes me slaughter your memory.
I don’t believe it.
I don’t see why.
I don’t see why
You had to die.
Where’s the coda we implore?
Grant us each a brief encore
To say everything time wouldn’t allow.
And before curtain call,
I would beg of you all
To say everything valuable now.
You have failed the human race.
You’re a waste of space-time it appears.
When all is said and done
You were never much fun.
May be that’s why you jumped off the pier.
You were festering inside.
Where you walked the grass has died,
And my appetite walks at your name.
On that cold New Year’s Eve
When you got your reprieve
And you bid us adieu dressed in flames.
I don’t believe it.
Denial makes me slaughter your memory.
I don’t believe it.
I don’t see why.
I don’t see why
You had to die.
You were noble, shrewd and proud
With a spirit brash and loud
And my parents were scared when they met you.
But in private your calm
Mannered ways had me charmed
And I’m trying my best to forget you.
Seven months and seven years
To accumulate these tears
And where are they when it’s time to cash in?
I see sparks when I blink
And I try not to think
About death when I hear the waves crashing.
I don’t believe it.
Denial makes me slaughter your memory.
I don’t believe it.
I don’t see why.
I don’t see why
You had to die.
Where’s the coda we implore?
Grant us each a brief encore
To say everything time wouldn’t allow.
And before curtain call,
I would beg of you all
To say everything valuable now.
Happy Saturday
Growing up is painful.
Going down is gainful.
What a waste to do it on your own.
Don't you think that I don't know.
Oh, I know.
Breaking down in public,
I'll take you down the pub, Nick.
Unless you want to be alone.
Now there there.
Sorry to all concerned
For the time I crashed and burned,
For the week I barely slept.
Yes you really matter,
My heart's on a platter.
Don't you think I know your starved?
Find the words and start to carve.
Find a new perspective.
Neuter the invective.
Don't you think I feel it too.
Here it comes now:
I love you.
Sorry to all concerned
For the time I crashed and burned,
For the week I barely slept.
Don't you believe I believe?
I believe.
Going down is gainful.
What a waste to do it on your own.
Don't you think that I don't know.
Oh, I know.
Breaking down in public,
I'll take you down the pub, Nick.
Unless you want to be alone.
Now there there.
Sorry to all concerned
For the time I crashed and burned,
For the week I barely slept.
Yes you really matter,
My heart's on a platter.
Don't you think I know your starved?
Find the words and start to carve.
Find a new perspective.
Neuter the invective.
Don't you think I feel it too.
Here it comes now:
I love you.
Sorry to all concerned
For the time I crashed and burned,
For the week I barely slept.
Don't you believe I believe?
I believe.
The Disappeared
The kings and the sirens burn
By the end there's no more to learn.
The aches and the bruises heal.
What does a rash reveal?
All disappear.
Same time next year.
The ogres of discontent
Order the boys to repent.
The love thieves conspire to meet
In dreams they rewind, repeat.
They all disappear
And yet they're still here.
Back in suburban hell
The dreamers play kiss and tell.
They bathe in a foam lagoon.
They pray they'll be back there soon.
All disappear.
They remain near.
The wives and the earners frown.
They can't tie the kid's dreams down.
Their murderous orgy play
Will always invade the day.
All disappear.
Same time next year.
Horizons whitewashed with lust.
Anxiety crumbles to dust.
Love is the common good.
And why are they scared of flesh and blood?
All disappear.
And yet they're still here.
A gulf of an open heart.
A prairie to build to build your art.
A bayou to break your voice.
A cabin to exercise your right to choice.
All disappear.
They remain near.
All disappear.
By the end there's no more to learn.
The aches and the bruises heal.
What does a rash reveal?
All disappear.
Same time next year.
The ogres of discontent
Order the boys to repent.
The love thieves conspire to meet
In dreams they rewind, repeat.
They all disappear
And yet they're still here.
Back in suburban hell
The dreamers play kiss and tell.
They bathe in a foam lagoon.
They pray they'll be back there soon.
All disappear.
They remain near.
The wives and the earners frown.
They can't tie the kid's dreams down.
Their murderous orgy play
Will always invade the day.
All disappear.
Same time next year.
Horizons whitewashed with lust.
Anxiety crumbles to dust.
Love is the common good.
And why are they scared of flesh and blood?
All disappear.
And yet they're still here.
A gulf of an open heart.
A prairie to build to build your art.
A bayou to break your voice.
A cabin to exercise your right to choice.
All disappear.
They remain near.
All disappear.
Trash Nation
Time will show the reason for your rhyme.
Minister or minstrel?
Joke or Jihad?
Take a torch to the ones who cling to flagpoles.
As the nation sinks,
We will not go down with this shit.
Each of you is a parrot on the shoulder
Of the pimp pulling strings,
You dance in a uniform.
Dance in circles. Raise your arms in rapture
As the puppet emperor burns
You spit on his ashes.
Train the crosshair on the arbiters of average.
Pack a pellet of truth
Right between their festered eyes.
Scream "I love you" even if you hate them.
Embrace their tepid flesh,
Squeeze the life back into them.
I vote life over order and castration.
Build cathedrals from
The ashes of the trash nation.
Minister or minstrel?
Joke or Jihad?
Take a torch to the ones who cling to flagpoles.
As the nation sinks,
We will not go down with this shit.
Each of you is a parrot on the shoulder
Of the pimp pulling strings,
You dance in a uniform.
Dance in circles. Raise your arms in rapture
As the puppet emperor burns
You spit on his ashes.
Train the crosshair on the arbiters of average.
Pack a pellet of truth
Right between their festered eyes.
Scream "I love you" even if you hate them.
Embrace their tepid flesh,
Squeeze the life back into them.
I vote life over order and castration.
Build cathedrals from
The ashes of the trash nation.
Feed The Cabin Fever
Deep in the forest
There's a cabin full of kids
Whose hearts are screaming
And their eyes are wild.
They chew the twilight
While their insides twist.
They're staring down the tides.
An interloper from the world outside
Invades the abstract space
And the kids devour him.
The wood is damp, the trees are bent
And the wind is strangely muted.
A pack of baying kids
Invading human hearts
Like a virus
As a feeling.
The roof is buckled
And the walls are black with soot
And the kids are chanting hymns
To the planets.
The dawn is looming,
Not for Al
who's dreaming underground now.
John is gloomy and
His arms are rich with holes
That beam release.
The crooked chimney
Weeping dust and mortar,
The cabin is wrecked and old.
And drizzled from a rusty tap
Brown water soothes
The fevered skin of the kids.
A brooding pitchfork
Manned by Philip enters
Jennifer's left breast.
And Jeremy swooning
Over a quiet boy
Finds the courage to stroke his chest.
The cabin sinks
Into the ground
Awash with limbs
And blood and semen.
This armageddon
Won't be found.
The forest lies still
As the heart denies itself.
An orgy of thoughts took place
When inhibitions died
And love happened.
The mind-forged manacles
Set free
In a dialogue of flesh.
There's a cabin full of kids
Whose hearts are screaming
And their eyes are wild.
They chew the twilight
While their insides twist.
They're staring down the tides.
An interloper from the world outside
Invades the abstract space
And the kids devour him.
The wood is damp, the trees are bent
And the wind is strangely muted.
A pack of baying kids
Invading human hearts
Like a virus
As a feeling.
The roof is buckled
And the walls are black with soot
And the kids are chanting hymns
To the planets.
The dawn is looming,
Not for Al
who's dreaming underground now.
John is gloomy and
His arms are rich with holes
That beam release.
The crooked chimney
Weeping dust and mortar,
The cabin is wrecked and old.
And drizzled from a rusty tap
Brown water soothes
The fevered skin of the kids.
A brooding pitchfork
Manned by Philip enters
Jennifer's left breast.
And Jeremy swooning
Over a quiet boy
Finds the courage to stroke his chest.
The cabin sinks
Into the ground
Awash with limbs
And blood and semen.
This armageddon
Won't be found.
The forest lies still
As the heart denies itself.
An orgy of thoughts took place
When inhibitions died
And love happened.
The mind-forged manacles
Set free
In a dialogue of flesh.
Lancelot Du Lac
We dragged the lake
For her parents sake.
Why'd you do it, son?
Where d'you hide the gun?
Was sex involved?
Let's get this solved.
Are you depressed?
I should have guessed.
Where are your friends?
The heart soon mends.
Let my embrace
Bury your face.
You're gonna hang
Or get the chair.
Alarm bells rang
When they fished out hair.
I killed her to prove to my friends I was damaged.
I don't need a lawyer, dad, leave me I'll manage.
She asked me to fuck her I freaked so i took her
To the jetee, concussed her and bagged her and trussed her,
Dumped her, forgot her, moved on, thanks a lot sir.
I'm evil I know it, I knew that I'd blow it.
She's ugly, retarded; I'm glad I discarded
Her love without feeling, without my revealing
The Truth.
I'm a child in the dark, I'm all over. The park's
Full of danger. I find no-one stranger
Than girls, they don't get me, because you won't let me
Make friends that aren't savage and sexy.
There's one he just wrecks me,
I love it, it scares me.
A boy beyond compare, we
Go smashing up cars, sell our bodies in bars.
We snort coke, knock back cider,
To hide me I hide her.
Boys will be boys, except me,
That's The Truth.
For her parents sake.
Why'd you do it, son?
Where d'you hide the gun?
Was sex involved?
Let's get this solved.
Are you depressed?
I should have guessed.
Where are your friends?
The heart soon mends.
Let my embrace
Bury your face.
You're gonna hang
Or get the chair.
Alarm bells rang
When they fished out hair.
I killed her to prove to my friends I was damaged.
I don't need a lawyer, dad, leave me I'll manage.
She asked me to fuck her I freaked so i took her
To the jetee, concussed her and bagged her and trussed her,
Dumped her, forgot her, moved on, thanks a lot sir.
I'm evil I know it, I knew that I'd blow it.
She's ugly, retarded; I'm glad I discarded
Her love without feeling, without my revealing
The Truth.
I'm a child in the dark, I'm all over. The park's
Full of danger. I find no-one stranger
Than girls, they don't get me, because you won't let me
Make friends that aren't savage and sexy.
There's one he just wrecks me,
I love it, it scares me.
A boy beyond compare, we
Go smashing up cars, sell our bodies in bars.
We snort coke, knock back cider,
To hide me I hide her.
Boys will be boys, except me,
That's The Truth.
History of The Gable Skulls
I keep them in the cellar.
The dust soaks up their yells.
I break them with a chunk of wood
And wallow in their smells.
Their ribs I lick them clean of meat;
Their skin I cure and hang.
Their ghosts a choir of tapping feet,
A booming femurang.
Chorus:
Oh mom, Oh Pa, I'm gone, How far?
(There's voodoo in them bones boy,
There's voodoo in them bones.
For every sack of skin that spilts,
Another boy atones.)
I make them swear they love me,
Before I start to sing,
And if they try to shove me,
I turn them into things.
Humble, prostrate, cowering,
A mess vibrating, scared.
There's music in those veins and shit;
A rhythm ripe and rare.
I inter them under sleepers.
Their bones I keep for me.
The loco pounds them deeper;
Grinds their spirit free.
The cellar stinks of carnage;
Astrewn with chunks and bones.
The voodoo only smiles out loud,
On ribcage xylophones.
The dust soaks up their yells.
I break them with a chunk of wood
And wallow in their smells.
Their ribs I lick them clean of meat;
Their skin I cure and hang.
Their ghosts a choir of tapping feet,
A booming femurang.
Chorus:
Oh mom, Oh Pa, I'm gone, How far?
(There's voodoo in them bones boy,
There's voodoo in them bones.
For every sack of skin that spilts,
Another boy atones.)
I make them swear they love me,
Before I start to sing,
And if they try to shove me,
I turn them into things.
Humble, prostrate, cowering,
A mess vibrating, scared.
There's music in those veins and shit;
A rhythm ripe and rare.
I inter them under sleepers.
Their bones I keep for me.
The loco pounds them deeper;
Grinds their spirit free.
The cellar stinks of carnage;
Astrewn with chunks and bones.
The voodoo only smiles out loud,
On ribcage xylophones.
Love's Last Warhead
I wake up in a polaroid haze;
Frenzied, splayed and unfocused.
I adjust to the themes of the day;
Wear a smile when I start to feel hopeless.
Murder, death, kill,
Rise and shine.
One day a hug would do fine.
I'm beyond all unreasonable doubt.
I swear and I choke like the others.
Dearly, I preen and I pout,
And I'm charming to all my friend's mothers.
Rape, abuse, guts,
Wakey-wake.
Show me a rainbow for God's sake.
Maybe I'm omniscient;
Perhaps I'm nuclear,
Love's last warhead.
Hope is ever present.
There is sweetness under my bed.
I work well on my own or in teams.
I'm outgoing and fun and resourceful.
I empty words onto ream after ream.
Bloodless words make me remorseful.
Here's how a love song might go,
With a pout and a hug and a rainbow.
To whom it may concern
My heart burns with live when your near me.
You make me smile you make me warm
And I care for you dearly.
Your touch it amplifies my soul,
You make me laugh so freely.
You give me hope for humankind,
My wounded heart,
You heal me.
Frenzied, splayed and unfocused.
I adjust to the themes of the day;
Wear a smile when I start to feel hopeless.
Murder, death, kill,
Rise and shine.
One day a hug would do fine.
I'm beyond all unreasonable doubt.
I swear and I choke like the others.
Dearly, I preen and I pout,
And I'm charming to all my friend's mothers.
Rape, abuse, guts,
Wakey-wake.
Show me a rainbow for God's sake.
Maybe I'm omniscient;
Perhaps I'm nuclear,
Love's last warhead.
Hope is ever present.
There is sweetness under my bed.
I work well on my own or in teams.
I'm outgoing and fun and resourceful.
I empty words onto ream after ream.
Bloodless words make me remorseful.
Here's how a love song might go,
With a pout and a hug and a rainbow.
To whom it may concern
My heart burns with live when your near me.
You make me smile you make me warm
And I care for you dearly.
Your touch it amplifies my soul,
You make me laugh so freely.
You give me hope for humankind,
My wounded heart,
You heal me.
Starting Fires
Lonely (feed me things)
Hungry (wax my wings)
Fatigue (c'est l'ennui)
Encoule (et bonne nuit)
I'm only starting fires.
Breaking silence, moving parts.
Only raising hell,
Pushing buttons, lifting hearts.
Hit me (I felt a kiss)
Bit me (I melt in bliss)
Screw you (come again?)
You too (evelont-Ben)
Sod this (hustling bars)
I'm a God stitched (out of scars)
Breakthrough (home and dry)
I fake you (I don't know why)
He's rust (on my wires)
And I'm just (starting fires)
Hungry (wax my wings)
Fatigue (c'est l'ennui)
Encoule (et bonne nuit)
I'm only starting fires.
Breaking silence, moving parts.
Only raising hell,
Pushing buttons, lifting hearts.
Hit me (I felt a kiss)
Bit me (I melt in bliss)
Screw you (come again?)
You too (evelont-Ben)
Sod this (hustling bars)
I'm a God stitched (out of scars)
Breakthrough (home and dry)
I fake you (I don't know why)
He's rust (on my wires)
And I'm just (starting fires)
How We Got Where We Are
Plant my lips across your neck.
Barnacles on a ship wreck.
England shirt a second skin.
It hurts you never let me in.
All the cute kids turn out to be lesbians.
Camp as crepe paper, will the man please stand up.
At school they tied me in a sack.
Kicked me nearly broke my back.
They held my and held me tight.
I don't know why it felt just right.
All the cute kids turn out to be lesbians.
Camp as crepe paper, will the man please stand up.
Scoured for love across the stars.
Found the proof in cuts and scars.
You commandeered my circuitry
The day you kissed, held and hit me.
Barnacles on a ship wreck.
England shirt a second skin.
It hurts you never let me in.
All the cute kids turn out to be lesbians.
Camp as crepe paper, will the man please stand up.
At school they tied me in a sack.
Kicked me nearly broke my back.
They held my and held me tight.
I don't know why it felt just right.
All the cute kids turn out to be lesbians.
Camp as crepe paper, will the man please stand up.
Scoured for love across the stars.
Found the proof in cuts and scars.
You commandeered my circuitry
The day you kissed, held and hit me.
Dream Ballad of Manana
Her hamfisted beefcake of a spouse
Slugged her hard in the jaw,
Threw her out of the house
And like Dino,
She crawled back for more.
The husbands about to stand trial
Queue for miles 'round the block
While the next wife back home
Takes another good
Sock to the face
In her house which is
No place like home.
She begs: take me Kansas, Toto,
Hammer home your
Fat nail in the bedroom
Her heart opens wide to the
Crush she had ten years go,
Who could not be more male.
Then one night she awakes
And her spirit is sick;
Reaches out for some scissors
And lops of his thick pony-tail,
Hoping her son of Sam will be
That bit less male.
The next day she'll rise up,
Her mind fixed on escape
From the beatings,
The humiliation and rape;
The thrill of conrete
Passing under her feet
Leads her to a bright place.
A dream for manyana
Where no-one can harm her.
She'll find a new home
With a kindly young farmer called Gill
Who won't threaten to kill her
For not being calmer.
In the garden of earthly delights,
Will she wrestle herself
From the arms of routine?
Oh my God have you seen?
She's a boy of fifteen
On the run from his father.
Sure, she's gender confused
Like so many young boys who've been
Kicked and abused;
Daddy broke all her toys,
Now she's crazy and sad,
And she's chasing her innocence bad.
A dream for manyana.
There is no young farmer.
Our boy's writing stories
Of loss and regret,
He forgets who he is
And gets lost in his dramas.
We all fantasize about
Fleeing the ones we despise.
This young teen sees himself
As a homecoming queen,
With no nobler bruises
Than the ones
That she chooses.
He'll write the same stories
Until he's healed over.
A yellow brick road, and
A four-leafed clover.
He'll bandage his wounds;
He'll sing
The Wild Rover to Dixie.
One day he'll meet up with a
Down-trodden house-wife.
His stories will mirror
What happens in her life.
She'll read them and weep:
How did you know,
I crawled back like Dino?'
She'll reset her jaw and
Walk out on her spouse.
She will suffer no more.
She'll run from the house
With the boy she just met
Who writes stories
That mirror her strife.
No dreams of manyana.
No kindly young farmer.
The thrill of concrete
Passing under their feet
Takes them far.
Wife and son become one.
Nobody can harm them.
Slugged her hard in the jaw,
Threw her out of the house
And like Dino,
She crawled back for more.
The husbands about to stand trial
Queue for miles 'round the block
While the next wife back home
Takes another good
Sock to the face
In her house which is
No place like home.
She begs: take me Kansas, Toto,
Hammer home your
Fat nail in the bedroom
Her heart opens wide to the
Crush she had ten years go,
Who could not be more male.
Then one night she awakes
And her spirit is sick;
Reaches out for some scissors
And lops of his thick pony-tail,
Hoping her son of Sam will be
That bit less male.
The next day she'll rise up,
Her mind fixed on escape
From the beatings,
The humiliation and rape;
The thrill of conrete
Passing under her feet
Leads her to a bright place.
A dream for manyana
Where no-one can harm her.
She'll find a new home
With a kindly young farmer called Gill
Who won't threaten to kill her
For not being calmer.
In the garden of earthly delights,
Will she wrestle herself
From the arms of routine?
Oh my God have you seen?
She's a boy of fifteen
On the run from his father.
Sure, she's gender confused
Like so many young boys who've been
Kicked and abused;
Daddy broke all her toys,
Now she's crazy and sad,
And she's chasing her innocence bad.
A dream for manyana.
There is no young farmer.
Our boy's writing stories
Of loss and regret,
He forgets who he is
And gets lost in his dramas.
We all fantasize about
Fleeing the ones we despise.
This young teen sees himself
As a homecoming queen,
With no nobler bruises
Than the ones
That she chooses.
He'll write the same stories
Until he's healed over.
A yellow brick road, and
A four-leafed clover.
He'll bandage his wounds;
He'll sing
The Wild Rover to Dixie.
One day he'll meet up with a
Down-trodden house-wife.
His stories will mirror
What happens in her life.
She'll read them and weep:
How did you know,
I crawled back like Dino?'
She'll reset her jaw and
Walk out on her spouse.
She will suffer no more.
She'll run from the house
With the boy she just met
Who writes stories
That mirror her strife.
No dreams of manyana.
No kindly young farmer.
The thrill of concrete
Passing under their feet
Takes them far.
Wife and son become one.
Nobody can harm them.
Last Words
I'm on my back
In a mountain shack.
The peace is what I need.
There's some dry food sacks,
And some logs out back.
And all the world to read.
The lights come at night
To avail my sight;
To blind me while I feed.
There's songs to write
Because time is tight.
The man wants back the deeds.
I try to rationalise
My failing eyes.
The fever feeds me lies.
Try to reconcile
The sweat and bile;
Try to get me exercise.
Wrote some poems today.
Had to throw 'em away
Because their prayers in dark disguise.
I atone my sins
As my body caves in.
I'll soon embrace the skies.
I'm not ready yet
To erase my debts.
I want some time for me.
I'm really scared
Because I'm not prepared
To face eternity.
The visions are loud
And my head's a crowd.
I wish they'd let me be.
There's a lizard on my chest;
Wish he'd let me rest.
When I sleep he'll feast on me.
Just a lizard's snack,
In a mountain shack
Where a man there used to be.
A fresh meat snack;
Two arms, two legs and a back.
I feel the creatures feed.
Soon I'll be dead.
Carnage on a bed.
And then I shall be freed.
Now I'm a lizard's snack,
In a mountain shack,
Where a man I used to be.
In a mountain shack.
The peace is what I need.
There's some dry food sacks,
And some logs out back.
And all the world to read.
The lights come at night
To avail my sight;
To blind me while I feed.
There's songs to write
Because time is tight.
The man wants back the deeds.
I try to rationalise
My failing eyes.
The fever feeds me lies.
Try to reconcile
The sweat and bile;
Try to get me exercise.
Wrote some poems today.
Had to throw 'em away
Because their prayers in dark disguise.
I atone my sins
As my body caves in.
I'll soon embrace the skies.
I'm not ready yet
To erase my debts.
I want some time for me.
I'm really scared
Because I'm not prepared
To face eternity.
The visions are loud
And my head's a crowd.
I wish they'd let me be.
There's a lizard on my chest;
Wish he'd let me rest.
When I sleep he'll feast on me.
Just a lizard's snack,
In a mountain shack
Where a man there used to be.
A fresh meat snack;
Two arms, two legs and a back.
I feel the creatures feed.
Soon I'll be dead.
Carnage on a bed.
And then I shall be freed.
Now I'm a lizard's snack,
In a mountain shack,
Where a man I used to be.
Eulogy
I watched you jump off a pier.
Watched you ruin the view.
Your head struck a rusty buoy
I remain stuck on you.
I'm travelling through memories
Of hair, scent and skin.
Your young, flailing temper.
Where did it all begin?
Your sweet scented hay-hair.
And your rich bloodied lips.
Your butter skin flawed me,
And your handlebar hips.
I never liked football.
I never liked gym.
But football shirts kill me
When they're wrapped around him.
You're weirdly proportioned,
A young, bony flair.
Your creamy voice moved me
To elated despair.
I watched you flee down a dirt track.
Your theft skewed a portrait.
You signed up with the army.
You left with my fate.
We'd sleep in the garden.
I'd watch you all night.
I'd bathe in your aromas,
Tremble, burnt at your sight.
You poisoned and pierced me;
Had me prostrate and weak.
You regarded me fiercely,
Like a heartbroken freak.
There were moments between us,
Of mutual spark:
That time under canvas,
When skin touched in the dark.
Lying still under moonlight.
You're murdering my crotch.
You don't know it. You have me.
We're drunk on heat and scotch.
Our hands roaming and grooming
Amongst giggles and grit.
Your mouth wetting my fingers.
I peaked when you bit.
And we're sharing my headphones.
One ear-piece each.
And the radio simmers
Like dull waves on a beach.
And your brother is sleeping.
It's just us and our skin.
That's the moment I'm keeping.
this is where it begins.
There's only a first love.
The heart's archetype.
Then there's faxes and figments;
Don't live up to the hype.
I watched you fade in the distance;
The canvas wrought dead.
I'm condemned to ignite you
Again in my head.
James, I love you forever.
But I'll paint you 'til then.
Maybe soon there'll be someone,
Who will wrestle my pen
From my junkie fixation
And point it at them.
They may dance the same steps,
Stir the same colour passion.
They might wear the same haircut
And the same anti-fashion.
They might trump you in all ways,
Be more clever and true,
But I can't see a day when,
I'll see beyond you.
You're no longer my neighbour.
But we're never apart.
'Cause your big trojan horse is
Stuck deep in my heart.
Gathered round your amiga;
Watching you play in goal.
I'm dementedly eager.
To donor my soul.
Watched you ruin the view.
Your head struck a rusty buoy
I remain stuck on you.
I'm travelling through memories
Of hair, scent and skin.
Your young, flailing temper.
Where did it all begin?
Your sweet scented hay-hair.
And your rich bloodied lips.
Your butter skin flawed me,
And your handlebar hips.
I never liked football.
I never liked gym.
But football shirts kill me
When they're wrapped around him.
You're weirdly proportioned,
A young, bony flair.
Your creamy voice moved me
To elated despair.
I watched you flee down a dirt track.
Your theft skewed a portrait.
You signed up with the army.
You left with my fate.
We'd sleep in the garden.
I'd watch you all night.
I'd bathe in your aromas,
Tremble, burnt at your sight.
You poisoned and pierced me;
Had me prostrate and weak.
You regarded me fiercely,
Like a heartbroken freak.
There were moments between us,
Of mutual spark:
That time under canvas,
When skin touched in the dark.
Lying still under moonlight.
You're murdering my crotch.
You don't know it. You have me.
We're drunk on heat and scotch.
Our hands roaming and grooming
Amongst giggles and grit.
Your mouth wetting my fingers.
I peaked when you bit.
And we're sharing my headphones.
One ear-piece each.
And the radio simmers
Like dull waves on a beach.
And your brother is sleeping.
It's just us and our skin.
That's the moment I'm keeping.
this is where it begins.
There's only a first love.
The heart's archetype.
Then there's faxes and figments;
Don't live up to the hype.
I watched you fade in the distance;
The canvas wrought dead.
I'm condemned to ignite you
Again in my head.
James, I love you forever.
But I'll paint you 'til then.
Maybe soon there'll be someone,
Who will wrestle my pen
From my junkie fixation
And point it at them.
They may dance the same steps,
Stir the same colour passion.
They might wear the same haircut
And the same anti-fashion.
They might trump you in all ways,
Be more clever and true,
But I can't see a day when,
I'll see beyond you.
You're no longer my neighbour.
But we're never apart.
'Cause your big trojan horse is
Stuck deep in my heart.
Gathered round your amiga;
Watching you play in goal.
I'm dementedly eager.
To donor my soul.
How Much Are A Duck
When you're happy and you know it
Count your hands.
Count your eyes, and your limbs,
And your unabsolved sins.
When your hungry, count you chickens
As you sew them into eggs.
Maybe you're dreamed instead.
When you're buoyant and cloudless
Thanks yourself.
Thanks the clouds, thank the shrouds
For being so thin.
When you're weary, and your shapeless,
Like your cookie-cutter burst,
Maybe you're dreamed instead.
When you're broken and fragmented,
Try and stay calm.
Try and stay whole, stay together,
If the ceiling's caving in.
When you're fixed, you're a liar,
You're a lie.
You're an afterthought, a glimmer,
And abstracted thing.
You're right there, you're a nightmare.
You're a wavelength, he's in bed.
You're no whole consistent person.
No, you're a dream instead.
Count your hands.
Count your eyes, and your limbs,
And your unabsolved sins.
When your hungry, count you chickens
As you sew them into eggs.
Maybe you're dreamed instead.
When you're buoyant and cloudless
Thanks yourself.
Thanks the clouds, thank the shrouds
For being so thin.
When you're weary, and your shapeless,
Like your cookie-cutter burst,
Maybe you're dreamed instead.
When you're broken and fragmented,
Try and stay calm.
Try and stay whole, stay together,
If the ceiling's caving in.
When you're fixed, you're a liar,
You're a lie.
You're an afterthought, a glimmer,
And abstracted thing.
You're right there, you're a nightmare.
You're a wavelength, he's in bed.
You're no whole consistent person.
No, you're a dream instead.
Love Hurts
You used to leave bruises.
Who cares what abuse is?
I urged you to do
What came naturally to you:
Hurt me.
Ben, I still flirt with disasters.
Disasters like you I still hunt.
What d'you do
To my tastes and desires?
I'm addicted to fires.
Love Hurts:
Ben, Ben you have marked me for good.
Good things don't hurt.
I'm on danger alert
For humiliating fixes.
Administer bricks to
My heart:
Ben, you are building a monster.
Monsters have hearts
Which they peddle in art
Where we quantify fires
And decode our desires.
Ben, you've given me poise and perspective.
Perspective like this
Is a terrible kiss;
Leaves me cold and removed
And scalding and soothed.
Thanks:
Ben, I'll return all the trophies.
A gong for each bruise.
I long for to cruise
The dark streets for the rest of you.
I want the best of you.
Ben, my love is wrapped in your strength.
Strength came from weakness,
And brilliance from bleakness.
You've broken and fixed me;
Punched, bit and kicked me.
Ben, you'll never leave my reflection.
Love hurts.
Who cares what abuse is?
I urged you to do
What came naturally to you:
Hurt me.
Ben, I still flirt with disasters.
Disasters like you I still hunt.
What d'you do
To my tastes and desires?
I'm addicted to fires.
Love Hurts:
Ben, Ben you have marked me for good.
Good things don't hurt.
I'm on danger alert
For humiliating fixes.
Administer bricks to
My heart:
Ben, you are building a monster.
Monsters have hearts
Which they peddle in art
Where we quantify fires
And decode our desires.
Ben, you've given me poise and perspective.
Perspective like this
Is a terrible kiss;
Leaves me cold and removed
And scalding and soothed.
Thanks:
Ben, I'll return all the trophies.
A gong for each bruise.
I long for to cruise
The dark streets for the rest of you.
I want the best of you.
Ben, my love is wrapped in your strength.
Strength came from weakness,
And brilliance from bleakness.
You've broken and fixed me;
Punched, bit and kicked me.
Ben, you'll never leave my reflection.
Love hurts.
Summer of '92
I can't remember
When packed lunches
Last lacked punches.
I remember.
You're a big boy.
I'm a convoy
Of complexes;
Shifting sexes.
You're a breaker
And a bruiser.
I'm a faker
And a loser.
You're an anvil.
And I'm roadkill.
I remember:
My heart's a landfill.
I can't recall now
Where you took me.
I was small.
How you hooked me.
We were smoking;
You were groping,
You smoked for me.
Your hands tore me,
On a park bench.
I'm defenceless.
You're a speedfreak.
I'm much younger.
You have drug chic.
I have hunger.
You're an anvil.
I am roadkill.
I remember:
My heart's a landfill.
When packed lunches
Last lacked punches.
I remember.
You're a big boy.
I'm a convoy
Of complexes;
Shifting sexes.
You're a breaker
And a bruiser.
I'm a faker
And a loser.
You're an anvil.
And I'm roadkill.
I remember:
My heart's a landfill.
I can't recall now
Where you took me.
I was small.
How you hooked me.
We were smoking;
You were groping,
You smoked for me.
Your hands tore me,
On a park bench.
I'm defenceless.
You're a speedfreak.
I'm much younger.
You have drug chic.
I have hunger.
You're an anvil.
I am roadkill.
I remember:
My heart's a landfill.
The Wild Road
Don't let fear arrest you.
Someone to confess to
Might just help to save you
From the hell you're slave to.
Stifled and dumb;
You want your mummy to come, play God.
Shaken and stirred.
Fate would prefer her to not play God.
Nature won't convert you.
Nowhere to desert to.
You were hatched and smothered.
That's the catch with mothers.
Stand over here.
Love's dream is near so be proud.
Pout, preen, be dear.
Strangle your fear, you're allowed.
Be a superhero.
Snowflakes in your tears flow.
Candy-cakes and sweaters.
You were never better.
Tidelock life in playtime.
So the sick may say I'm
Selfish, weird and childish.
That's what being wild is.
Someone to confess to
Might just help to save you
From the hell you're slave to.
Stifled and dumb;
You want your mummy to come, play God.
Shaken and stirred.
Fate would prefer her to not play God.
Nature won't convert you.
Nowhere to desert to.
You were hatched and smothered.
That's the catch with mothers.
Stand over here.
Love's dream is near so be proud.
Pout, preen, be dear.
Strangle your fear, you're allowed.
Be a superhero.
Snowflakes in your tears flow.
Candy-cakes and sweaters.
You were never better.
Tidelock life in playtime.
So the sick may say I'm
Selfish, weird and childish.
That's what being wild is.
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