Eulogy

I watched you jump off a pier.
Watched you ruin the view.
Your head struck a rusty buoy
I remain stuck on you.

I'm travelling through memories
Of hair, scent and skin.
Your young, flailing temper.
Where did it all begin?

Your sweet scented hay-hair.
And your rich bloodied lips.
Your butter skin flawed me,
And your handlebar hips.

I never liked football.
I never liked gym.
But football shirts kill me
When they're wrapped around him.

You're weirdly proportioned,
A young, bony flair.
Your creamy voice moved me
To elated despair.

I watched you flee down a dirt track.
Your theft skewed a portrait.
You signed up with the army.
You left with my fate.

We'd sleep in the garden.
I'd watch you all night.
I'd bathe in your aromas,
Tremble, burnt at your sight.

You poisoned and pierced me;
Had me prostrate and weak.
You regarded me fiercely,
Like a heartbroken freak.

There were moments between us,
Of mutual spark:
That time under canvas,
When skin touched in the dark.

Lying still under moonlight.
You're murdering my crotch.
You don't know it. You have me.
We're drunk on heat and scotch.

Our hands roaming and grooming
Amongst giggles and grit.
Your mouth wetting my fingers.
I peaked when you bit.

And we're sharing my headphones.
One ear-piece each.
And the radio simmers
Like dull waves on a beach.

And your brother is sleeping.
It's just us and our skin.
That's the moment I'm keeping.
this is where it begins.

There's only a first love.
The heart's archetype.
Then there's faxes and figments;
Don't live up to the hype.

I watched you fade in the distance;
The canvas wrought dead.
I'm condemned to ignite you
Again in my head.

James, I love you forever.
But I'll paint you 'til then.
Maybe soon there'll be someone,
Who will wrestle my pen
From my junkie fixation
And point it at them.

They may dance the same steps,
Stir the same colour passion.
They might wear the same haircut
And the same anti-fashion.

They might trump you in all ways,
Be more clever and true,
But I can't see a day when,
I'll see beyond you.

You're no longer my neighbour.
But we're never apart.
'Cause your big trojan horse is
Stuck deep in my heart.

Gathered round your amiga;
Watching you play in goal.
I'm dementedly eager.
To donor my soul.