The Last Gasp of Jim Harvey-Joneswald

Well I came down by the road, and I sat down by the road
And I wept dread from hands that not so long ago wielded lead
And that bore palms that still bled the stench of iron.

I knelt down by the road and I rubbed my face in the road.
My cheeks got sore with grit and for the first time ever
I yelled ‘God can this be it?’ I pray you’re lying?

I gave in my notice this morning it was less notice more warning.
They said I was forbidden to yet leave so it became a threat.
They’d learn to grieve. Care to dance?

I yelled I’m going home to fetch my stuff, you make me wretch
You stinking, servile, retail, spoon-fed yes men.
My blood-fever baby sycophants.

My heart screams.
I don’t dream.

So here I kneel by the side of the road,
Thinking cities are an evil designed to erode
All the good in the land, kill the chorus of hearts.
A city is the grave mausoleum of art.
So I here I weep by the side of the road
Thinking ‘When did my country decide to disown
All the poets, the preachers, that the forces forbid,
When these smug, sober adults, are just rotting kids?’

Well I saw the end of the road In a vision on which I rode
An apocalyptic steed whose stirrups gleamed like
The blunt, ill-bred, chattering teeth of the damned.

Well I rode rodeo down the rode, a revelatory episode.
The stallion bucked me. I landed on a rooftop
With a dagger on my belt and a wreath in my hand.

And ‘Well’ said I. ‘Oh fancy that. I’m on the
Biggest block of flats in town. The crowds below towards
Oblivion in their best suits blindly go.

Much to the terror of the crowds I raise the spear up to the clouds.
At which point I hear a voice say
‘Oh child of the future, bring it down.’

And lo, I hold the spear aloft I laugh at those sneered
And those who scoffed when I said I would rather die
An unholy scream than an obedient mumble.

I bring the spear crashing down. I feel the fear engulf the town.
Computers melt, I watch commuters drown in dust and smoke.
The whole damn city crumbles.

So it’s revealed.
My fate is sealed.

There I lie by the side of the road
Thinking ‘these hands are my hands, I want to implode
Set me free from the burden of being the one.’
The saviour of mankind just wants to be gone
From the species, the planet, the memory of all-time.
I renounce the vision that fuelled my crime.
And I draw my knife by the side of the road
And I cut real deep to unburden my load.
And my breath grows weak,
And blood starts to pool.
So it’s death that I seek
I’m just wondering who’ll
See the point in my being:
‘Who was that sick coward?’
They’ll say, and I’m agreeing,
It’s got to end now.
My lungs cool down and my vision is blurred.
I’m spread on the ground. A death has occurred.
And the newspapers cry ‘How could he be so numb?
You’re no brother of mine, you vigilante scum.’
So I’m going to hell, what the hell, who cares now?
I went out with a yell, a spectacular bow.
So I killed fourteen workmates. It’s not a big deal.
The subsequent heartache allowed me to feel,
And such pain that struck me, as soon as it did.
I died knowing adults are just rotting kids.
I died knowing adults are just rotting kids.
I died knowing adults are just rotting kids.